1. Please keep bringing me your soft furry babies that I may pet them.

     


  2. ATTENTION NYC AREA KATE MIDDLETON FTW FANS

    You’re invited!

    What: Drinks and a sketch comedy show, held to celebrate the Duchess and her fetus.

    When: TOMORROW NIGHT! April 24th! Show is at 9:30 PM, we’ll be having cocktails in the bar starting at 8 pm.

    Where: The PIT Underground, 123 East 24th Street (Between Park and Lex)

    Cost: $5 for the show, pay cash at the box office or purchase tix in advance here: http://thepit-nyc.com/show/the-royal-fetus-variety-show-2/

    Drinks are normal drink prices, depends on what you order I guess, so I dunno, whatever you want to spend? I’m not your mother.

    Please do join us. I would be very happy to meet you. We can take “duck face” pictures or whatever the cool kids are doing these days.

     

  3. How do you live like this every day?

     

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  6. Those are your options.

     

  7. You still lose!

     

  8. But really, silver is… fine.

     

  9. I don’t do shovels. Or dirt.

     

  10. Or.. garage? Is this your garage?

     

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